The Darkest Part of the Night

“Thus, as it is always darkest just before the Day dawneth, so God useth to visite his servants with greatest afflictions, when he intendeth their speedy advancement.”1 These words penned by the English preacher, Thomas Fuller, have stayed the destabilized and encouraged the discouraged. They have imparted a new paradigm to hopeless souls as those individuals were awakened to an unrealized simplicity they immediately understood and embraced.

Perhaps, your thinking was transformed when you first heard the night is darkest just before the dawn. You were reassured that a better day was about to break forth on your dark night and dispel your woes. You were enlivened enough to continue your struggle a little longer. When that period of darkness ended (assuming it has), the duration from your mental revolution to the realization of your dawn became inconsequential. With the night behind you, it felt shorter than when it had enveloped you.

Disappointingly, the doctrine of darkest night-ends is somewhat tomfoolery. Dismissing moonlight and artificial light, the darkest part of the night is not just before dawn; it is the middle of night. Sunset occurs when the sun finally dips below the horizon, and sunrise when it crests. Twilight is from sunset to dusk and dawn to sunrise. It is the time when sunlight is present in the sky even though the sun is below the horizon. Civil twilight occurs when the sun is from just below the horizon to six degrees below it. Nautical twilight is longer for when the sun is up to twelve degrees below the horizon. Astronomical twilight is when the sun is as much as eighteen degrees below the horizon. The farther the sun is from the horizon, the less sunlight reaches the sky. Therefore, the darkest part of the night is when the sun is at its farthest point from the horizon at the middle of the night.

The message that an end to trouble is just ahead intoxicates many beleaguered minds. Well-meaning counselors and ministers preach this promising sermon to eager audiences. Charlatans also preach this message endearing followers to themselves to gain influence and wealth. But we are simply not promised an end to suffering in this life. Granted, life’s ebbs and flows offer seasons of rest for most of us. But some struggles for some people remain till death.

Perhaps, that time just before twilight seems darkest because the entire night has been endured. But the part of the night that must feel the darkest to many is that lengthy part after they were told the dawn is a moment away when, in fact, half of the night yet remained. To be handed a hope that sifts between one’s fingers like sand as the night crawls forward must shroud the mind with a darkness greater than to face the night alone.

Some are at the darkest part of their night, and it’s at the point furthest from dusk and dawn. The light they desire to see is not about to shine in a moment. Much of their long and dark night remains to be endured. A false hope that their suffering will end momentarily when, in fact, it will not end for some time only makes their night harder. They don’t need to be told it’s about to get better. They need to be shown a better Light—One that does not shine based on circumstance. While we’re in the world, we can succumb to the suffering of the night forgetting that we are the light of the world. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (Joh. 8:12). When you have Jesus, you have the Light; and you will not walk in darkness even in the longest, darkest night. And because you have Jesus, He said, “Ye are the light of the world” (Ma. 5:14). When you understand that Jesus will be with you through your night, your circumstantial darkness cannot overwhelm you because your night is lighted by Him.

But so many don’t know the Light, and they don’t have the Light within them. And their night is long and dark. And I may do them more harm than good by telling them the night is almost over when they’ve just reached the middle of their suffering. The truth is that this night will pass eventually, but another night will come. And the answer is not to wait for the day, but the answer is to learn how to thrive in the night. They need the Light, and the best thing you or I can do for them is to join them in their darkness and shine the Light there.

Perhaps, saying a prayer for them and believing for their miracle isn’t all we should do. We can go by giving for many people and places, but everyone of us must give by going somewhere and to someone. There are people in the darkest part of their night who don’t need your words or money; they need your presence. They don’t need you to tell them things are going to get easier. They need you to be the Light in their night.

  1. A Pisgah-Sight of Palestine and the Confines Thereof, with the History of the Old and New Testament acted thereon. 1650. https://exhibits.stanford.edu/renaissance-exploration/catalog/fg622vf3455. p 229. ↩︎

From My Heart to Yours

It’s been about a year and a half since I’ve shared any of my thoughts with the world-wide web.  Much has happened to me on a personal level, and to be quite honest, I’ve just not had the energy or desire.  From unexpectedly losing my dad on June 27, 2018, to giving birth to a wonderful surprise gift last March, my life has been quite full with many ups and downs along the way.  I have not stopped writing, however.  I have kept up with two personal journals, as well as started writing a book on grief.  I strongly feel it is of the utmost importance to try to harness one’s emotions during tumultuous times, and writing them down is one of the most effective ways I’ve found.  Is it necessary to share those secret thoughts with the world?  No.  In fact, I think it best to more diligently control what becomes public knowledge during such vulnerable times—thus, my sabbatical.  But I have something on my heart that I want to share with you, and the present, global situation we all find ourselves in seems an appropriate time.

Let me begin by sharing my deepest, heart-felt appreciation for those of you who have stood in the gap for my family and me through prayer during the past 21 months.  I know that it has been through the prayers of God’s people that my mother and I have been able to bear the loss of Daddy.  I can’t begin to recount how many reached out to us, through every imaginable way, and offered words of love and encouragement.  (If you were unable to attend the service, but had so desired, Victory Church has uploaded the funeral service on their YouTube channel.  You can view it here .)  It doesn’t feel like we should be approaching the two year anniversary of our loss.  The time has gone by in an absolute blur.  But in looking back, there has been a constant that has remained with me to this very day; and that is what I want to share with you, now:  Peace.

We read in John 14:27 some of the most beautiful words written in red. Jesus Himself spoke them:  

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

Jesus was about to be crucified.  His closest and dearest friends, His disciples, were unaware of His impending passion.  Jesus was doing all He could to prepare their hearts for the turmoil ahead.  They didn’t understand what was about to happen, but they were listening to His words and asking questions.  One of the very last things Jesus did before Calvary was give something of Himself to those closest to His heart: His very own peace.

I have researched John 14:27 in over 20 different versions of the Bible, as well as several concordances and Bible dictionaries; and they all agree.  The peace that Jesus was referring to in this verse was that of personal possession and, as such, a peace that only He could give.  The thought alone that Jesus would chose to leave something of a personal nature with His disciples at that crucial time is beautiful and makes me smile.  But what he chose to leave with them takes my breath with complete awe and wonder.  

Let us remind ourselves this Jesus is 100% man as well as 100% God.  I do not agree with the 50/50 theory, nor do I subscribe to the ideology of Jesus’ being only the Son of God.  The oneness of the Godhead is a different discussion for a different day.  For the sake of this post, I will simply state that my belief is that Jesus was all man, all God, and has all power and authority, alone. 

That being said, the man Jesus was about to endure physical pain that we can only try to comprehend.  Crucifixion was the cruelest form of torture in that day.  His flesh was about to be literally torn into pieces.  Muscles would soon be ripped apart.  Tendons, ligaments, and joints awaited their separation and dislocation. His wrists and feet were about to be pierced by nails anywhere from five to nine inches long, purposefully missing the main blood vessels yet penetrating nerves that would shoot searing pain through the entire body with the slightest movement.  Lungs would fill with fluid. Exhausted muscles would weaken and fail. Asphyxiation would usually be the end result as the body could no longer perform the necessary movements needed to breathe.  However, medical science coupled with biblical accounts lead us to believe our Lord died of a massive heart attack before his lungs failed. 

He was about to endure all of this, and He gave away His peace.

Could this be the reason the Bible tells us His sweat fell as great drops of blood the night before in the Garden of Gethsemane?  Physically, in order for blood to appear in the sweat of a human body, there has to be tremendous stress and strain on the body causing the capillaries in and around the sweat glands to burst, thus mixing blood with the sweat.  The man Jesus had given away the very peace He possessed as He was about to not only endure unimaginable physical pain but, greater still, take on the sins of all the world, for all of time.  

No wonder this peace is referred to in the book of Philippians as one that “passeth all understanding”  (Phil. 4:7).  We cannot fully understand the Holy, Divine kind of peace.  Man’s peace usually comes with the satisfaction of his physical and emotional needs , realization of his goals , provision of his safety, or pacification of his conscience.  A holy peace is an incomprehensible rest in the love of God, a calm in the midst of the storms of life, and a blessed assurance that comes in knowing that He has overcome the world (John 16:33).

This peace is the very peace that Jesus Christ Himself enjoys.  It’s His, and He has given it to you.  This is why you can’t rationalize it, put it in a box, or explain it.  It’s a beautiful, holy peace.  After He had given it to His disciples, He said, “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (Joh. 14:27).  The world can’t give you this kind of peace.  We can be peaceful one moment, and terrified the next.  The peace of God obliterates fear.  The world’s peace can be unsatisfying, unsettling, and transient.  The peace of God fills the soul and reaches every part that can’t be touched by man.  It’s a God-shaped, perfect fit that no other puzzle piece can fill.   

I can only attempt to describe how it felt the moment His peace engulfed my broken heart following my dad’s sudden death.  Sorrow would be crashing down on me, coming in wave after wave of intense pain.  I would brace myself as the sobs took over; but just as quickly as they came, they would begin to dissipate.  I felt, as it were, a warm blanket come over me, surrounding me.  It was as if I could almost audibly hear the words, “Okay, that’s enough for now”; and the crying would cease.  I knew then that that was the peace of God—a peace I had never really felt up until that point.  That peace stayed with me, and is still with me as I type these words.  I felt it at the funeral, when we buried him, and all the countless times since then I wanted to pick up the phone and call Daddy.

That’s the peace I want to leave with you, today.  In the middle of this world-wide pandemic of a deadly virus that no one truly understands, in this time of financial worry when millions are without jobs, in this time when we can’t corporately gather in our churches with each other in fellowship and worship, I want to remind you that we have a God-given peace.  We may not understand why all of this is happening, but one thing we can be sure of is that nothing takes God by surprise.  He’s got this.  He’s still speaking to the storms today, “Peace, be still”.  If we have that same peace, then we can do the same thing.  Speak to your storm.  Let the peace of God that passes all understanding rule and reign in your home, today. 

Peace be with you all, in the precious name of Jesus.

Foundation for Divine Intimacy

Freedom is found in the fear of the Lord.  Though man’s philosophy vilifies fear as an enemy of the mind with immobilizing power, the fear of God is the only way to experience true liberty.  You will serve what you fear.  It is no wonder that Solomon said that we must “fear God, and keep his commandments” because fear is the prerequisite of obedience (Ecc. 12:13).  And the fear that fosters submission to God ultimately frees us of bondage to the flesh.

Having a true reverence for God, which is the fear of the Lord, is the key to enjoying intimacy with Him.  The fear of the Lord undergirds our faith in and love for Him, and it prepares us for a closeness to Him that is unknowable any other way.  If we do not fear Him, we will not know Him.

Without the fear of the Lord, we will be unable to have perfect faith in Him.  Hebrews 11:6 tells us that we cannot please God without faith, but the very next verse says, “By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house” (Heb. 11:6-7).  What Noah did was “by faith”, but he was “moved with fear.”  Fear was the fuel of his faith; it was his faith’s driving force.  Psalms 147:11 says that God is pleased with those who fear Him.  Reverence will not be born from faith because the “fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom”; rather, holy fear will move a person to God-pleasing faith (Psa. 111:10; Pro. 9:10; 15:33).

Without the fear of the Lord, we cannot wholly love Him.  Some would suggest that fear is antithetical to love citing 2 Timothy 1:7, but that verse means that God has not given us the spirit of timidity.  The same person may quote 1 John 4:18 saying that “perfect love casteth out fear”, but the kind of fear that verse references means “alarm or fright” (Strong G5401).  The fear of the Lord is not timidity, alarm, or fright; but it is a deep reverence for the God of the universe.  Deuteronomy 10:12 instructs Israel “to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul.”  Fear comes before love; and any love one has toward God apart from fear will be a partial, immature love at best.  Only the person who recognizes, as much as is possible, how truly great God is and understands the psalmist’s call to “stand in awe of him” can begin to know Him enough to possess and express a perfect love toward God (Psa. 33:8).

If we fear the Lord, He will draw us closer to Him than we can ever imagine.  One with a genuine reverence toward God will be drawn closer to Him when God reveals His glory.  But those who do not fear God will feel only alarm and fright at His glory because irreverence cannot remain in the manifest presence of God.  Psalms 25:14 says, “The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.”  This verse means that closeness or intimacy with God is with those who fear Him and that God will show them truth.  Those who truly fear God will be brought by God to a place where He will share with them things that He will share only with a confidant.

Thank God we have the freedom to fear Him whereby we may enjoy the liberty to serve Him and not the world, sin, or flesh!  As our reverence of Him powers our faith and deepens our love for God, we will come to know an intimacy with Him that will be rivaled only in the life to come.


Bibliography
Bevere, John. The Fear of the Lord: Discover the Key to Intimately Knowing God. Lake Mary, FL: Charisma House, 2006.
Strong, James. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Abingdon Press, 1890. Print.

An Atmosphere for the Miraculous

A Testimony

Fifty days ago, the Savior of the world drew His last breath on a Roman cross.  We never knew such pain and despair until that dreadful moment when a suffocating blanket of darkness enveloped the world.  Our hearts were broken and our hopes dashed.

I remember so well when He cried out, “Eli!  Eli!  Lama sabachthani?!”  To hear the Hope of My Salvation declare His own forsakenness was more than I could bear.  But I did, somehow.  Unaware at the time, now, I know it was by the strength of the very One I saw disfigured before me.  The Lamb of God at His weakest, yet proving Himself stronger than ever!

But just three days later, He rose from the dead.  I could hardly believe it when I first heard the news; but then, I remembered things He had said about this very thing.  He told us that He would die and rise again, but we didn’t understand…until it actually happened.  My heart was overcome with joy to know that He had risen!

Now, we’re here in Jerusalem in this upper room because Jesus told us before He ascended into the Heavens to wait here for the Promise.  Over one hundred of us are here with one consent, one purpose.  And we’re not leaving until it happens.  Jesus is coming back!

Three Ingredients

About 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem, there was an atmosphere for the miraculous.  A group of disciples of Jesus Christ were filled with the hope of His return.  And though He didn’t return in the flesh, He did return in the Holy Spirit.  About 3,000 people were filled with the Holy Ghost, and there was great revival like never before with signs and wonders.

This was a supernatural season wherein God began to pour out of His Spirit upon all flesh and to show Himself strong to His people and through His Church.  Three ingredients were present in that outpouring two millennia ago, and these same factors can produce an atmosphere for the miraculous, today.

God’s Promise

Luke wrote to Theophilus in the book of Acts saying that Jesus “shewed himself alive after his passion” (after Calvary) “by many infallible proofs” and that He was seen alive for forty days and that He spoke “of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God” (Acts 1:3).  He recounted how that Jesus had instructed the apostles to remain in Jerusalem and to wait there “for the promise of the Father” (Acts 1:4).  And Jesus told them that, while John had “baptized with water”, they would “be baptized with the Holy Ghost” (Acts 1:5).

The Lamb of God had paid the price to redeem mankind from the bondage of sin.  Jesus told His disciples in John 14:19 that the world would soon see Him no longer but that they (His disciples) would see Him, and He said that they would live because He lived.  Jesus was speaking of that “promise of the Father” saying that they would discern Him through His return to them as their Comforter, the Holy Spirit of Christ.  Because He rose from the dead, they would also experience new life in Him.  And Jesus said in the next verse, “At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you” (John 14:20).  At that day, they would receive divine revelation and a fulfillment of things that Jesus had been teaching them but that they had yet to experience.

So it was that they were waiting for the promise in an upper room in Jerusalem at that day.  And at that day, they were filled with Holy Ghost and understood the deity of Christ beyond what logic, philosophy, or academics could offer.

The promise from God of the infilling of His Holy Spirit set the stage for the miraculous; and that promise that Jesus made to them, He also made to you and me.

For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

Acts 2:39

Our Unity

Before God’s promise could be realized, the people had to be united.  Acts 2:1 tells us that, as they waited for the promise, “they were all with one accord in one place.”  Acts 1:14 says they “continued with one accord in prayer and supplication”; but in verse 15, Peter interrupted their prayer meeting because he understood that there was a matter that needed to be addressed.  Judas Iscariot, who had betrayed Jesus and taken his own life, left a vacancy in the twelve disciples of Jesus Christ; and that void needed to be filled because Scripture required it.

“Peter!  This is not the time to have a business meeting!  We’re in the middle of a prayer meeting!  We’re praying for the promise!”

Sometimes, there is business that needs to be addressed before a prayer meeting can be effective.  If there is anything that may be an obstacle to unity in the body, it must be handled wisely; or you may not see the move of God that He desires for you.  Peter’s wisdom in dealing with things that could have been an obstacle to unity put them on the stage that God’s promise had set for the miraculous.

My Tremble

The atmosphere for the miraculous that existed in that upper room in Jerusalem would move out into the larger Church that was about to be born.  After they were baptized with the Holy Ghost, Peter preached Jesus to the crowd that had gathered outside; and many of them “gladly received his word” and “were baptized”, and “about three thousand souls” were filled with the Holy Ghost (Acts 2:41).

Beyond that glorious day, “they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers” (Acts 2:42).  One might expect the excitement to wane or the supernatural intensity to decrease, but it did not.  Acts 2:43 gives a clue as to why this divine move of God continued.

And fear came upon every soul:  and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles.

Acts 2:43

Fear, or a deep reverence and respect, toward God came upon, not just most, but upon EVERY soul.  They were in awe at the presence and power of the Almighty God.  They had their tremble.

God-pleasing unity that births the miraculous can only occur when I have my tremble.  You may think that you’re okay because you believe in God, but that only makes you as good as devils.  James 2:19 says that “the devils also believe.”  But many people today may not even measure up to devils because James said that “the devils also believe, and tremble.”

Where is your tremble?  Where is your awe at His majesty?

I believe that the main reason we don’t see more of the miraculous is because we have lost our tremble.  There is a manifestation of the presence and power of God that will only be realized when a people find their tremble at His majesty.

Job said, “Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom” (Job 28:28).

David said, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalms 111:10).

Solomon said, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge”; and he said, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom”; and he said, “The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7; 9:10; 15:33).

Solomon said that the “conclusion of the whole matter” and “the whole duty of man” is to “Fear God, and keep his commandments” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.

Psalms 2:11

Let all the earth fear the Lord:  let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him.

Psalms 33:8

The Lord reigneth; let the people tremble…

Psalms 99:1

God provides the promise; we agree in unity; but only I can have my tremble.  And when a people of promise who agree in faith recognize the supreme sovereignty of the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-existing God of the universe and tremble in awe of Him, they will have created an atmosphere for the miraculous.