Have you ever heard the statement, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? I beg to differ. Yes, you can. In fact, you not only can; but you should.
First, let’s examine the statement. Where did it come from? What does it mean? There is a movement these days, particularly among women, that has been cloaked in something that appears to be truth. It sounds good and seems to make sense, so it must be right. Right? The idea is that, when you give so much of yourself to others, you pour yourself out until there is simply nothing left to give. Therefore to give more, you must first refill yourself. You give back to yourself with self-care and me time doing something for yourself so you can continue to give of yourself.
This message sounds so good, especially to the over-worked, sleep-deprived, worn-out, stressed-out, neglected woman who has been so busy with life she’s forgotten who she is. She daily looks in the mirror and cringes. All that’s left of who she used to be a decade or more ago is a distant memory. Her body has changed over the years and will likely never be the same. She is mentally exhausted and stressed over endless things. She feels isolated, forgotten, and unimportant. Her spirit is parched. Even in a crowd, she feels very much alone. She tries, but her heart is empty. And then, she hears, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It soothes her mind. It gives her a sense of honor in all that she does, even without appreciation from anyone else. And it whispers an idea in her ear that she needs to stop caring about all the responsibilities around her and focus on herself for once. She deserves, and desperately needs a break. Besides, she can’t keep giving if there’s nothing left to give. What about her neglected needs?
The enemy has twisted the idea of self-care. In and of itself, self-care is not wrong; in fact, it’s needed. We have been instructed through Scripture to care for the temple of God, which is our bodies. It is important to eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep each night. It is good to laugh, savor life, and enjoy wholesome hobbies and interests. Some need alone time, and others need the comfort of their friends. Each individual has different needs and desires. But we’re on dangerous ground when we start to feel sorry for ourselves and to withdraw because of life’s injuries or when we focus on our social isolation and material deficiencies. There’s nothing wrong with reprioritizing and making time for yourself, but we must be aware of this world’s foolish wisdom. Before questioning life’s unfairness and people’s ungratefulness, question your emptiness.
We were created empty. Adam’s lungs were void and uninflated, until the breath of God Himself filled them. Then, they began to work. The empty chambers of his heart were filled with blood that was transported by a network of arteries and veins that nourished his body with the oxygenated life source. Only when he was filled with the life-giving breath of God did he become a living soul. Even though our bodies seem to function on their own, it is the breath of God that keeps us going. We were made empty to be filled by Him. It was a physical manifestation of something very spiritual. Perhaps, our emptiness has less to do with all we’ve given of ourselves and more to do with our need for more of Him.
There is something powerful about emptiness. Only when a vessel is truly empty can it be filled. It must first be poured out. Jesus said, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Mat. 5:6). I pray that God empties me of myself to fill me with Him. This prayer must be daily because my human nature continually wants me full of myself. I must pour myself out in a daily sacrifice of consecration and commitment. I don’t need more of me; I need more of Him!
Like an Old Testament drink offering, we must pour out ourselves as a sacrifice to God. We offer ourselves to God empty of selfish desires and lusts and arrogance so that we may be filled with His righteousness. Only then can we truly be fulfilled.
Pouring out our selfish wants and neglected needs requires pouring out our frustrations, temptations, insecurities, disappointments, regrets, and sorrows. Hannah was barren and was “in bitterness of soul” and “wept sore” over her childlessness (1 Sam. 1:10). She vowed to God that, if He would bless her with a son, she would return him to God “all the days of his life” (1 Sam. 1:11). As she was praying this prayer at the temple, the priest Eli saw her and thought she was drunk because she was praying so intently in her heart, only moving her mouth silently (1 Sam. 1:12-13). When he scolded her, she said, “I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord” (1 Sam. 1:14-15). She had carried the weight of her disappointment and sorrow for many years, but had finally decided to pour them out to God. In return, God granted her request and gave her the son she so desired. She then kept her promise; and when he was weaned, she brought the child Samuel to the priest to serve in the temple. The fruit of her emptiness would later become the prophet who anointed David King of Israel.
Your empty feelings may, in fact, be quite the opposite of what you originally thought. Instead, you may be full—full of hurt, anger, bitterness, disappointment, or sorrow. Is there so much on your mind when you lay your head on your pillow at night that is spills onto your cheeks? Do you live in silent pain telling no one? Pour it out. Let go of your wants. Release your neglected needs. Surrender the sorrow. Empty yourself of you so that you can be filled with the Breath of Life and experience the joy of true fulfillment.